


iTunes Fic Challenge!

by Amuly



Category: Torchwood
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-22
Updated: 2010-03-22
Packaged: 2017-11-03 23:11:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/387031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amuly/pseuds/Amuly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Put iTunes on shuffle and write a short drabble for the first 10 songs that come up. The catch: You write each drabble in the time the song is playing. The song ends, you move onto the next drabble.</p>
            </blockquote>





	iTunes Fic Challenge!

First five songs before this one: chapters from Torchwood audiobooks.

** 1\. Telephone – Lady Gaga (feat. Beyonce) **

            “Ianto…”

            “I know that tone of voice Jack. What do you want? I’m very busy.”

            “Ianto, you’re still in Cardiff…”

            “You need someone at the Hub who actually knows the passwords to all the dangerous weaponry. Now, what do you want?”

            “Where are you?”

            “In the Archives, Jack, where do you think?”

            “Mm. I bet you’ve got your sleeves rolled up, don’t you?”

            “Yes I do Jack. And you’re not getting any phone sex.”

            “Oh, pleeease Ianto.”

            “Jack, we’ve had phone sex six times, and you’ve been gone a day.”

            “A day and…I don’t Ianto, how many hours?”

            *sigh* “Thirteen hours. A day and thirteen hours. But Jack, please. I can’t get any work done with you like this. Would you just please stop calling me when I’m at work, at least?”

            “Ianto, we’re Torchwood. I have no guaranteed time when you _won’t_ be at work. I _have_ to call when you’re at work.”

            “No, you could call when I’m supposed to be home, and just hope you get lucky.”

            “Oh, I love it when you’re commanding. Keep talking.”

            “I’m hanging up, Jack.”

            “Just two more minutes. Don’t even have to say anything dirty, just…Welsh vowels…”

            “Get your hands out of your pants. Goodbye.”

 

** 2\. Eh, Eh (Nothing Else I Can Say) – Lady Gaga **

(Another Gaga song? Does it know I’m writing gay fics?)

            Ianto held Jack’s hand as they strolled through the park. This was…nice. Kind of weird, really. Them strolling through the park together, holding hands. No Weevil sightings, no Rift activity, just…walking. Almost like a couple.

            “Oh, Ianto, cherry ice cream! Buy me some?”

            Ianto sighed and they walked over to the vendor. “One cherry ice cream, please.”

            “You’re not going to get anything?”

            Ianto shook his head. “No, ice cream gives me a headache.”

            “Oh. Sorry.”

            Ianto raised an eyebrow as he paid the vendor. “Not anything to be sorry for. Just can’t eat ice cream, that’s all.”

            Jack seemed to contemplate this carefully as he licked at his ice cream. They continued their walk through the park in silence for a minute. “Ianto, do you get headaches because ice cream is cold?”

            “I suppose so.”

            “Well, I can give you ice cream warm.”

            “How mmph-“

            Ianto decided he liked being a couple, if it meant Jack would feed him ice cream tongue-to-tongue.

 

** 3\. Bad Romance – Lady Gaga **

(Are you fucking serious iTunes?!)

Ianto winced as John Hart shoved him into a wall. “Hey! Careful!”

“Don’t worry, Jack, I’m not going to damage your eye-candy.”

“And I can take care of myself, Jack.”

            John raised an eyebrow. “Well I’d rather you worry about taking care of me.” He pressed a heavy hand down on Ianto’s shoulder and pushed him to his knees, offering his cock for Ianto to suck on. 

Ianto flicked a glance over at Jack, who was watching the scene intently. With a wink and an arched eyebrow, Ianto took John’s length in, not breaking eye contact with Jack.

John might have been moaning above him, but Jack was leaking precome down his shaft without even moving. Another arched eyebrow in his direction and suddenly Jack was there, dragging Ianto off John and kissing him fiercely.

“Hey, wait your turn, Jackie boy! Or do I need to fuck you into submission?”

“Fuck me, suck me, I don’t care, but I need Ianto _now_.”

Jack had knocked Ianto backwards and was now covering him, shoving fingers into him and preparing him roughly. Ianto was just happy to be so coveted. And by two incredibly sexy ex-Time Agents. Did he release some sort of job-specific pheromones?

“If you two would just work together, you could both have me.” Ianto lifted his hips suggestively. “I won’t break.”

John dove forward and began rimming Ianto as Jack continued to finger-fuck him. Ianto moaned lewdly. Oh, definitely a job-specific pheromone. 

Jack entered him first, greedy bastard that he was. But then he angled Ianto up, shifting, and then John was filling him too, so tight… “Oh, fuck…”

 

(Two more Torchwood audiobooks, and then iTunes decided to _seriously_ freak me out)

** 4\. Boys boys boys – Lady Gaga **

 

            Jack and Ianto stood at the bar of the club, chatting amicably. “What about him?”

            Jack considered for a moment, tilting his head. “No, too skinny.”

            Ianto raised an eyebrow. “I thought he looked about my build.”

            “Well, maybe a year ago…”

            “Oi!”

            “I said ‘too skinny’, didn’t I? I like your build now more…” Ianto knew it was a ploy, but he let himself sink into Jack’s kiss.

            “Oh, you’re a right bastard, you know that?”

            “Mm. What about him?”

            “Are you kidding me? He looks straight.”

            “Nope.”

            “Uh, Jack, he’s dancing with that girl. That blonde, large-breasted girl.”

            “Gay.”

            “10 quid.”

            “Blowjob.”

            “Deal.”

            Jack strode over to the man and tapped him on the shoulder. Ianto winced and started mentally preparing a medkit for the wounds Jack was about to receive.

            Oh, well. Whatever the hell Jack’s pheromones were, they were brilliant. In about three seconds the man had Jack shoved up against the wall, and Ianto was getting their coats. Gonna be a good night.

 

(Had to skip over two more Torchwood chapters were before this song showed up.)

** 5\. Wana PV - Gundam 00 (Anime music) **

            Jack and Ianto raced down the car park, boots and shoes scuffing on the pavement. “Ianto, get to the right!” Ianto dove right just in time: a Weevil lunged past him and landed on Jack.

            “Jack!” Ianto pounced, grabbing the Weevil in a headlock, pulling him off Jack. With his free arm he fumbled for the Weevil spray, finally getting it and spraying it in the Weevil’s face. He managed to get a good mouthful of it too: fantastic.

The Weevil pacified quickly, and Ianto was able to drag a hood over its head and shove a needle full of anesthetic into its chest before Jack even got up. “Jack?”

Jack was crouching, still conscious at least. He shook his head. “Fine,” he croaked. “Get it in the boot.”

Ianto nodded, dragging the Weevil to the boot of the nearby SUV while he gave Jack time to recover. When he came back, he saw Jack’s body lying on the ground, motionless. “Shit.” He ran over and slid to the concrete, ignoring the rip he felt in his suit knees. Always could buy a new suit.

He cradled Jack’s head on his knees, smiling when he finally gasped back to life. He then promptly smacked Jack upside the back of the head.

“Hey! I just came back! Gimme a minute before you play rough!”

“You bastard! You said you were fine.”

Jack grinned back up at him. “Well, I am now.” 

 

** 6\. Kyou Kara Maou Theme – Kyou Kara Maou  **

(Is it on an anime kick now…?)

“Jack, you’re absolutely crazy.”

“Come on Ianto, it’ll be fun.”

Ianto gulped as he stared up at the rollercoaster. He had chased down Weevils, gotten blown up, shot, stab, chased by cybermen, defeated all sorts of freakish and evil aliens…and he was terrified of a rollercoaster.

“I…I don’t know, Jack.”

Jack’s eyes were gleaming as he stared up at the rollercoaster. He turned to look at Ianto and his smile wavered. “Ianto, are you…are you scared?”

Ianto set his jaw. “Of course not, sir. I just think they’re unsafe.” He felt his eyes flicker, effectively breaking the bravado façade.

To his surprise, Jack didn’t tease him. Instead he took a step closer to him, touching his hand gently to his cheek. “We don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

Ianto’s eyes flicked around at the crowd pressing at them from all sides. “I’d…I’d rather not. If it’s all the same to you. But you can go on it if you want, no need to spoil the fun.”

Jack’s laugh warmed him; shot through him like a spark of lightning. “All my fun is standing right in front of me.”

And in front of everyone, Jack kissed him.

(Three Torchwood audiobook chapters, then my iTunes goes back to being psychic. I pause in fic-writing to double check and make sure my iTunes is _actually_ on shuffle. It is.)

** 7\. Money Honey – Lady Gaga **

Ianto stormed into Jack’s office purposefully. Jack didn’t look up from whatever papers he was sorting through, but then again, there was no need. It was just Ianto.

“Jack. We need to talk.”

Jack blinked as he looked at the stony set in Ianto’s face. “Oh, no, is something wrong?” He hoped there was nothing wrong. He didn’t want Ianto to be upset with him. Was it that guy last night at the bar? Ianto was checking him out too…

“I need a raise.”

“Huh?” Well, _that_ was unexpected.

“It’s purely because of work-related expenses. I can’t keep buying new suits every time alien guts get on them on my salary. I need a raise.”

Jack’s mouth open and closed for a moment before he found words again. “Ianto, you can just…charge the suits to the Torchwood account.”

“That’s tax fraud, Jack. Just give me a raise, it’s not that difficult. I can even do it for you, so long as you sign off.”

Jack caved. “Whatever you want, honey.”

** 8\. Sakura Kiss – Ouran High School Host Club  **

(Oh my gosh, BOUNCE! LOVE THIS SONG! So hyper and saccharine sweet. Go grab it and listen to it, it’s too much fun.)

Ianto called Jack over the comms. “Jack, would you come up to the tourist office for a moment?”

Two minutes later, Jack was bounding through the tourist office doors, a wide grin on his face. He was obviously expecting a naked Ianto, or something else titillating. What he found was “Ianto, why are you holding a puppy?”

Ianto and the puppy made puppy-dog eyes at Jack. “I just thought…I wanted a dog. And he’s so cute. Do you like him?”

Jack tried to resist the puppy’s charms, but his big brown eyes stared out from his chocolate fur and… “Oh, Ianto. Sometimes I hate you.”

Ianto grinned. “So we can keep him?”

“Do you really think it’s wise to keep a puppy in the Hub?”

Ianto looked shocked. “Oh, no, not in the Hub! Mwyfawny might eat Oliver! No, he’ll stay in the tourist office. And maybe come sleep with us in your bunk once he’s crate trained.”

Jack sighed. “I let you get away with too much.”

Ianto wrapped Jack up in a kiss. “Only because I do the same for you.”

Oliver yipped happily.

(SEVEN Torchwood audiobook chapters. Well, 6 audiobook chapters and one radio drama.)

** 9\. Poker Face – Lady Gaga **

(MOAR Psychic-ness?!?!)

“Jack, do you know that you have a tell?”

Jack started and stared across the table at Ianto. The Torchwood team was taking advantage of a lull in Rift activity and was having a friendly strip poker tournament. Owen, Tosh, and Gwen had all removed two pieces of clothing: nothing scandalous there yet. Jack had removed four: approaching scandalous. Ianto thought that maybe he was doing it on purpose at first, but then realized he wanted to see _Ianto_ naked, not get himself naked, and was quite peeved at losing. 

            Ianto had yet to remove any pieces of clothing.

            “What? What’s my tell?”

            “Yeah, Jones, what’s his tell?” Owen leaned interestedly across the table, looking at Ianto.

            Ianto smirked and shrugged. “Well, I’m not going to say. It’s keeping me safely clothed.”

            Four rounds later Jack had given up and stalked back to his office in nothing but his trousers. Ianto laughed and ran after him. 

            Jack whirled on him and shoved him against his ladder, kissing him vigorously. “Come on Ianto, what was my tell? Please?”

            Well, Ianto couldn’t exactly resist, not when Jack’s tongue was trailing down his throat and teeth were nipping at his neck _just right…_

            “You…ah…you rub my leg.”

** 10\. Underground – Gurren Lagann **

Jack and Ianto lazed on Ianto’s bed. They had just woken up to sunlight streaming through Ianto’s blinds, but didn’t want to get up. It was their day off.

“Not sure how Torchwood gets a day off,” Ianto had wondered last night when Jack had told him. 

“Asked Tosh, Owen, and Gwen to cover this once, and promised they’d get the chance to do the same once each.”

So there they were, limbs tangled, just lying there, letting the beams of sunlight hit them. Jack’s head was hanging off the edge of the bed, and he blurrily blinked at his upside-down view of Ianto’s blinds.

“You should get thick curtains. No sunlight in.”

Ianto crawled on top of Jack, constricting his breathing slightly with his weight. Jack didn’t mind. “No, can’t do that. Messes up my sleep and makes it harder for me to wake up on time. I like the sunlight coming in and letting me know when it’s morning.”

“Not exactly useful during winter.”

Ianto kissed Jack firmly. “Now you just sound Welsh.”

   



End file.
